I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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