I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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