so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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