Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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