Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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