i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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