Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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