i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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