Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
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would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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