I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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