Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize