well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize