does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
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All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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