You're so nebulous sometimes
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
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It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
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Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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