Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize