we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
this just has baby written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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