so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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