I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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