I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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