Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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