If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize