Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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