he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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