Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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