last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize