Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize