if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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