just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize