the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
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come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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