She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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