The maid of honor just puked.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize