you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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