life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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