He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
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you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize