sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize