There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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