Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
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I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
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Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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