Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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