she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
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I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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