well I can't set my house on fire every night
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just puked most of my soul out..
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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