I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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