where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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