great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
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He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
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I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize