I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
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