his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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