I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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