At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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