also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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