is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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