Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
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I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
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Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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